Homemade Pickles You'll Relish

 

It just so happens that I make amazing pickles.
How about if I share my instructions and recipe!
... From the very beginning...

STEP 1
Buy pickling cucumber seeds (not burpless) and plant them in cute little greenhouse pods.
 Even if you want to water them lots, don't or you'll drown half of them like I did.
Put them in a sunny room with a door to keep the curious cat out of them.
Turn them around each day since they will lean toward the light.

STEP 2
Transfer them to something bigger with more soil as they grow.
If you have a bad habit of getting a Coke at Sonic, reuse those cups.
Keep the soil moist. (And keep the cat out of the room!)

STEP 3
Shovel your year's worth of chicken litter across the garden.
Sprinkle the fertilizer  you bought all across it as well.
* Notice that the onions in the barrels are growing nicely already.

STEP 4
Till the garden going around and around.
Toss out the rocks. (Where do those come from! I know I got them all last year!)
You'll know you're finished when the tiller runs out of gas.

STEP 5
Borrow your son's truck to pick up a load of mulch.
Cover the whole garden bed one shovelful at a time.

STEP 6
Be proud of a job well done.
Take a picture. 
Take a shower.
Take an ibuprofen because your back is probably killing you.

STEP 7
Plant the cucumber plants inside big homemade cages.
Every day train the plant to grow up instead of out.
Put the new runners up on the inside of the cage. 

STEP 8
Train the cucumber vines up the inside (instead of the outside edges) of the cage.
If you forget this step, the deer will help by eating whatever their noses can reach.
The cucumbers will hang down as they grow and are ready to be picked..
They can grow fast, so check every day!

STEP 9
Pick them before they get big and fat like Willy Wonka's snozzcumbers!
While you're still wearing your garden gloves, rub all the little pricklies off their skin.
Wash them, peel them, (feed the peels to the chickens), take a picture.

STEP 10
Eat them for every meal and every snack without guilt.  They have zero calories.
Unless you skipped STEP 8 and shared your vines, leaves, and blooms with the deer, 
you will eventually get tired of eating them raw 
no matter how many different ways you slice them.

STEP 11
It's time to turn the extra cucumbers into pickles.

STEP 12
Pull some onions. You'll need those too.

My Recipe

It's not exact... Use more or less of each ingredient as you please.

• Thinly sliced cucumbers (a bucket full... 6-ish cups)
• Thinly sliced onions (a bowl full... 1+ cups)
• White vinegar (to cover... 1 1/2 -2 cups)
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon mustard seeds (yum... those little ball things... add extra!)
• 1/2 teaspoon celery seeds (can't imagine anything good could come from celery...but anyway... just put them in.)
• 1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric (the stuff that turns it yellow-ish)
• 
  
• Combine vinegar and spices in a saucepan
• Bring to a boil for a minute while stirring 
• Pour vinegar mixture over cucumber and onion slices
• Cool, cover, and marinate in refrigerator

If you need relish, just take some out and chop it up!

The inspiration for this painting came from Sara's photograph, Relish the Moment, on Inspiration Collaboration.

Original Oil Painting on 10"x 10" Wrapped Canvas.
Click Homemade Pickles if you'd like to purchase this painting.