Wednesday, June 3, 2020

SSSssssssurprise in the Nesssssting Box


Serendipity, our little piece of the world is nearly always a peaceful and beautiful place to be.
We do our best to live at peace with our "neighbors."




But sometimes.... there's a conflict.

You might want to read about an indent with a raccoon and possum. Click HERE for that story and then HERE for the follow up to that one.

A couple of days ago we had an... an incident.

I had called my sister to see if she'd want to go blueberry picking that evening.  It was the first day of the season, and we wanted to be there for the first picking time! I was chatting and also multitasking by taking care of some outside jobs at the same time.   I had the phone in my pocket (Yes, the pocket of my pajama pants. Yes, it was the middle of the day.  Yes, when I saw the picture later, I wished I'd decided to wear real clothes that day!) and earbuds in my ears.  It was a beautiful spring day with birds singing, blue skies, and a light breeze. I checked the plants growing in pots on the deck then tossed some birdseed and dried worms to the hens in the backyard.
If you look through the slats of the deck rail, you'll see those seven happy hens. 
Hmmm... but I thought I had a dozen hens... 
Ugh... 
I have five, yes FIVE, broody hens!  
They just want to sit there in their hot, dark nesting boxes all day long, day after day.  I don't have a rooster, so none of the eggs are fertilized.  (Ron takes a deep, patient breath and sighs as he reminds me that 12 is our top limit and that no, we do not need babies this spring.)  So, several times a day, I go out, and lift the broody girls off their nests, give them a snack, and tell them to go play.
So, still talking to my sister, I headed up to the coops.
First stop, the Sister House.  I slid my hand under Dolly and plopped her out onto the ground. The two little bantam (unless your redneck and call them banty, like I do) hens were cozy in the other box.  I lifted out Lena and talked to her a bit. She's so sweet.  Then grabbed Frinkles in a way she couldn't peck me.  She's feisty.
Next I moved on to the Cousin House where good ole' Fancy was snuggled in. She acted offended to have been disturbed, but out she went.  
I tossed them some seeds.  While they were clucking around, I moved on to the Friend House to rouse Dominique…
Without a thought I opened the lid to the last nesting box and...
This is your warning...
If you don't want to ssssssee what wasssssss in the box..
Don't ssssscroll any further down.


Holy Moly!! 
Cowabunga!!!  
Jeeze Louise!!! 
Huge snake!!!
Slam that lid down!! 
Start running!!!
Kick in to get-r-done mode!

I’m not that good at knowing snake types past rattle snakes and copperheads so I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure it was snake of mixed heritage... part black mamba, part cobra, part boa constrictor, part python, and part anaconda!  Equal parts of each!

Still on the phone and mid sentence...
"Around 5:30 I'll just stop by -- Eeeek!!!!  Oh, my goodness!  It's really big!  It's in the nest!  Oh, my goodness!  I opened the box to put my hand in. It was right there!! It's huge!  I've got to get it!!" 

Ron, at the kitchen table working where he's been since mid-March, had on his headset and was calmly on a corporate conference call.  

I burst through the back door, "Snake!  Are you in a meeting!? There's a snake!  It's really big! It's huge!  It's in the chicken nest! I have to get it!"

I ran to the garage to get the limb loppers. (No idea why that thought came to me, but it turned out to be a good one.)  I grabbed the loppers, ran back into the kitchen.  "It's huge!  I need gloves." (I started pulling on my little cotton gardening gloves... yeah... like they'd protect me from the four-inch fangs it probably had...) "It's so big!  Really!  If I've ever stretched it about how big a snake is, this time I'm not!" 

Ron... trying to nonchalantly remove himself from his meeting.... holding up a finger to wait just a minute...
A voice... My sister's... still listening to all this.  
"There's a snake!  I have to go!"

"Please still be there!!!” 
As we headed out to the yard, I grabbed a grill cleaner tool that was there on the rail. (It's kind of a bat like a club with a pointy thing on the end. Seemed like a good snake weapon.)

Eeeekkk!!!
Get ready...
Get set...
I opened the lid! 
He raised his head.
Ron put the loppers around his neck and pulled him out...
Whoa!!!!!
Oh, my goodness!
Wow!

"Wait!  hold him there!  I need a picture!  Don't let go! Hold him!!"  
Run back to the house... 
Get the phone...
Run back... 
Have a photo session...

Well... if you're wondering... 
No. It did not go well for the snake.

That dad gummed snake ate the golf ball and the porcelain egg that was in the nest!  (Chicken coops always have a fake egg or two in the box where they're supposed to lay eggs. A golf ball is just a cheaper version of the fake egg... assuming your chickens aren't smart enough to realize they're round instead of oblong.) 

He had two bulges in his stomach. 
"He ate my fake eggs! I want them back!"

Ron, who’s lived with me 35 years, was shaking his head thinking are you kidding me… no you’re not kidding… He begged me to not be serious, to just  buy new ones.  

"Nope! I’m getting those!"  
Ron groaned... just the  thought of me wanting to cut up the dead snake.

"Nope! I don't need to. I’m going to squeeze them right out the same hole that used to be his head!  
And… I did! 
HA!!
Sheesh!

Although the whole thing beginning to end was probably 10 minutes, it felt like an entire movie!  
Whew!  
Adrenaline rush for sure!

Then… I picked up my sister and we went berry picking! 

4 comments:

  1. EWWWWWW! I just cannot. That you put your hand in the box was bad enough but that you made Ron wait so you could a photo of the dang thing, blechhhh. But then I laughed (kind of) that you ewwww popped out your golf ball and porcelain egg, shiver. You are way braver than I; I would have had to be hospitalized from trauma. Glad no hens were hurt.

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    1. Ha ha ha!
      Sometimes a farm girl's just gotta do what she's gotta do!

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  2. I'm sitting here grinning from ear to ear. This is just the post I needed to read today, one that made me giggle. I'm so glad you didn't reach in with your hand without looking - yikes! What kind of a snake was it? (Do I want to know??) I'm still giggling about you squeezing the eggs back out. Hahaha!

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    1. So glad I could entertain you! (Yeah, I chuckle every time the whole episode crosses my mind.) As far as what kind, I guess a black rat snake?

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